Are we in danger of over scheduling our children's lives?

It's day three of school holidays and this morning my 6 year old looked at me and asked "what are we going to do today Mum?".

I looked at her for a long time thinking with horror that somehow unknown to me I have obviously become the type of parent that feels a need to fill their child's holiday time up with endless activities so that they can be "occupied" and not "get bored".

On Monday, the first day of holiday, she came with me to a meeting and on the way back we stopped at a beach and had a play and a snack. Yesterday she spent the day at a friends and was taken to the Museum. Tomorrow another friend is coming for a play date (while her mum goes to a meeting) and on Friday probably the school holiday vacation program.

But today nothing is planned! Shock, horror a whole day of no planned activities.

For the last week I have read blogs with details on how to occupy kids during the holidays - suggestions for art activities, crafts to occupy them, free events and activities in the city, suggestions for child friendly dishes to cook and cakes to bake. The list goes on.

I can't help but think back to when I was growing up how I don't ever recall my parents sitting down doing art and crafts activities with us. I don't recall being taken to free events in the local town to occupy me or my siblings (in fact I don't even think such events existed) and heaven forbid I don't remember play dates being arranged for me. In fact I only heard the word "play date" when I moved to Australia and had kids!

What I do remember is holidays spent playing with my siblings and nearby neighbours. Board games, table tennis, cowboys and Indians all come to mind. And of course lots of reading of books while the wind and rain howled outside.

It seems parents back then just expected that we as kids were more than capable of organising and entertaining ourselves. More importantly parents did not seem to think it was their job to "entertain" their offspring.

Somehow we seem to have lost the confidence in our kids being able to be just kids.

As parents we seem to feel the need to intervene as if we are obsessed with our kids. We hover over them during school holidays setting up crafts and paints and boxes meanwhile"guiding" them along an activity. We arrange play dates and schedule outings and tick off activities for each day feeling content that they are occupied and stimulated during the holidays.

We as a society are in danger of creating a generation with limited imagination as they have limited chance to just be. Limited chance to use their imagination and creativity. We are in danger of creating kids unable to live without stimulation and in this hyper communication world we live in, surely this can't be a good thing.

What are your thoughts? Share them on our forum.

Homebirth: A Question Of Choice?

Now, this is a very passionate and potentially devisive topic I am going to stick my toe into - with some trepidation - but after reading a letter by musicianClare Bowditch yesterday (see below) which clearly shows this issue is back on the agenda (had it ever left?) I felt compelled to write about it.

The topic is home births and whether as a society we should continue to support women to chose this birth option.



What is a homebirth?
A home birth is a birth that is planned to occur at home not in a hospital or birthing centre. There are two types of home births - attended where a midwife for example is present or unattended (or freebirth) where it is the woman alone or with her partner and / or family and friends and / or perhaps a birth attendant called a doula. In Australia less than 1 per cent of babies are delivered at home.

Changes by government threaten home birth option for women
Yesterday, I came across an article (or as she called it an "open letter") from Australian Musician and ARIA award winner Clare Bowditch. Clare posted an open letter to the Federal Minister for Health & Aging, Minister Nicola Roxon who has proposed a bill that excludes homebirth from insurance schemes for midwives and effectively makes it impossible for women to choose homebirth as a birthing option.

The letter was in response to a recent review of the country's maternity services recommended the Federal Government overhaul the power given to midwives. If accepted by Nicola Roxon's department, some midwives could be given access to benefits doctors have - like Medicare, drug prescribing rights and professional indemnity insurance. But the review has made it clear midwives who assist in homebirths should not be supported as a mainstream birth option, (ABC Mothers Defend Right to Homebirth, April 2009)

In response the mother of seven and secretary of Homebirth Australia Justine Caines said “...it is unacceptable and unsafe to force a woman into a choice that is not optimal for her, whether that is a hospital birth or a birth at home without midwifery support. It is absolutely impossible to understand the government’s position on this, other than to say that they have bowed to political pressure from medical lobby groups.”

Home births as irresponsible?
Only in April an article that appeared in the Daily Telegraph by Fiona Connolly and titled "Home births are irresponsible" reported how Bronwyn Hale, a midwife and the womens health adviser for Medecins Sans Frontieres Australia's Project Unit in a recent discussion paper suggested "that many Somali women still prefer to risk their lives on a trek(where they can get shot and killed) to hospital in exchange for the safe delivery of their child".

Connolly went onto report that four babies died in childbirth in Sydney (however according to the Homebirthservices website these figures are unconfirmed) in the last nine months and that "no hippie reasoning is able to convince me that parents who home birth are placing the good of their child first. They are clearly thinking only of themselves". She ends by saying "Home births are selfish, irresponsible, anti-reason and anti-progress. Australia's maternal mortality ratio is 8.4 per 100,000 compared to Somali where 1400 women for every 100,000 die during childbirth".

Clearly we know on what side of the fence Fiona Connolly sits on.

And along with her appears to sit Dr Ted Weaver from the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Obstetrics and Gynaecologists who said "There's no point going through a beautiful birth experience at home if you deliver a baby that's dead or harmed as a result of that birth." (ABC Mothers Defend Right to Home birth, April 2009.

Home birth as safe
But the fact is for many women home birth remains the best choice for them.

Some because they strongly believe that birth is not a medical condition and a hospital is not the correct place to go through this experience, others because of the need to birth in a familiar environment.

In a study published in the US Journal of Midwifery and Women's Health women were asked reasons they had chosen a home birth. The five main reasons given were:

• safety;
• avoidance of unnecessary medical interventions common in hospital births;
• previous negative hospital experiences;
• more control; and
• a comfortable and familiar environment.

Home births Australia have said that "the facts we have from the latest Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (published in 2008), indicate that 708 women had planned home births in Australia in 2006 (0.3%) and there were no deaths reported amongst these births. In this same year 2730 babies died - most of them in Australian hospitals."

Personally I have had three children in hospital. Home birth was not an option that I or my husband considered not because the pregnancies were high risk but because my fear of something going pear shaped and not being near to a hospital outweighed my desire to have a "natural" birth.

Like I said earlier birthing is such a personal experience that it's next to impossible not to have your own personal experiences influence your decision or thoughts on the issue.

But surely what the main concern should be is that some women will feel so strongly on the issue of home birth that they will choose a home birth regardless and so be "forced" into a freebirth / unattended birth experience (i.e birthing at home with no midwife present as they cannot obtain a midwife willing to attend the birth) with the potential bill changes and the dangers that this potentially presents to the child and the mother is terrible.

Therefore the 'solution' to this issue cannot just be either or.

In 2007 the UK Royal College Of Obstetricians And Gynaecologists issued a joint statement At The Royal College Of Midwives Annual Conference. It said:

"We encourage normal birth and the specialty is behind the pledge to offer women more choice. This choice includes home birth or delivery in birthing units or the option to deliver in hospitals with the support of a full maternity team of midwives, obstetricians, neonatologists and anaesthetists."

"With rising birth rates across the country, what we need are better resources for midwives,
who are able to call upon the expertise of obstetricians when complications develop.
This means more maternity staff in our hospitals to run a safe and efficient service.
Innovative ways of working and re-organisation of services need to be carefully worked out specially with the reduction of working hours of junior doctors from 2009.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Over to you you? What your thought on home births? Share your experiences and thoughts on our forum.


More information
Journal of Midwifery & Women's Health.
Some excellent articles here, albeit a little academic about birthing, birth choices and midwives role.

The business of being born
A US documentary film from executive producer Ricki Lake and Director Abby Epstein

Homebirth: A Midwife Mutiny
Informative blog by SA midwife, Lisa Barrett

Home Midwifery Qld

SBS Insight - Birth
Watch the SBS Insight program on Birth

Campaign for Normal birth
Website by the US based Royal College of Midwives

Image: 4th Chapter illustration. A woman giving birth on a birth chair by Eucharius Rösslin
a German physician who authored a book about childbirth called Der Rosengarten ("The Rose Garden") in 1513, which became a standard medical text for midwives.

Launch of a dedicated online social networking community for Australian babysitters and nannies

This week Babysitterdirectory.com.au launched a dedicated online social networking community, the Australian Nanny Network, where babysitters and nannies can chat and share knowledge, information and tips around childcare, nannying, babysitting and related issues.

The inspiration for the network was the fact that unlike other professions currently in Australia there are no peak professional association for nannies and babysitters that leads and represents the nanny and babysitting profession.

There is no recognisable professional association or group that promotes nannying in Australia locally and internationally and that delivers and develops life-long learning and knowledge to nannies and babysitters.

So when babysitters and nannies need someone to talk to to discuss their work contracts, superannuation, difficulties at work, training and professional development or even searching for a Nanny Mentor there really is no one available to do this, apart from the ear of a friend or partner. This is where the Australian Nanny Network will come in.

Given that there are literally thousands of nannies and babysitters working right across Australia, many of whom are working in informal settings and casual employment arrangements, it is difficult to estimate the potential reach of the Australian Nanny Network. However given that within two hours of launching the Australian Nanny Network we had 30 members, making us think that there really is a need for a social networking community like this.

Join the Australian Nanny Network here.
[Note: At the moment the Network is open only to registered babysitters and nannies of Babysitterdirectory (registration is free for babysitters and nannies) though in time this may change].

Quality of Life Entrepreneurs And Risk Taking

Can you be an entrepreneur without taking a risk?

This is the prickly question that I found myself discussing at the weekend when I caught up with some friends for dinner. And having launched Babysitterdirectory.com.au just over a year ago it was a queston I found intriguing.

We were a varied bunch around the table with backgrounds in online, urban planning, retail, design, chemical engineering, finance and IT and cultural backgrounds ranging from SE Asia to Sweden, Ireland and Australia.

Yet the common element that a large percentage of the people had around the table was a strong desire to bring to life a business concept they felt would not only succeed but more importantly was not being addressed elsewhere. In short most had a desire to be an entrepreneur.

Granted some at the table were already running established businesses or else (like myself) in the throes of establishing their start up. But many at the table were working in 9-5 jobs and dreaming of a way out. There was a desire not to be "just" an employee executing someone else's vision but to be an active creator of one's own vision.

As I listened to my friends articulate their vision of new business ventures they dreamed of establishing I was struck by one thing:

If you dream of becoming an entrepreneur can you do it without taking a risk? And if you still want to bring to life your business idea but are not prepared to take a huge risk [and by huge risk I mean sink your house or a large share of your savings into your business idea] does this mean that you are excluded from the definition of 'entrepreneur'?

The Entrepreneur

First let's define an 'entrepreneur'.

This is a person who starts a business venture and assumes significant accountability for the risks and the outcome.

Jean-Baptiste Say, a french economist, is believed to have first coined the word 'Entrepreneur' in the 1800's. He's the man credited with Say's Law of Markets, which is often quoted as "supply creates its own demand" or "if you build it they will come". [Mind you he might not be able to take full credit for this with the a passage in the Bible saying "As goods increase, so do those who consume them. And what benefit are they to the owner except to feast his eyes on them?"].

Entrepreneur personality

There is said to be an 'entrepreneur personality'.It only takes a quick Google on the word to see that there is a lot of information out there about the "entrepreneur personality". This is said to be someone who is resourceful, energetic, who enjoy problem solving and looking at possibilities as well as making decisions. Entrepreneurs are said to be born leaders, inspiring and leading others.

Our classic image of an entrepreneur is a go-getter, a person not afraid to take risks, a visionary inspiring and leading others. But not everyone can or is like this.

Type of entrepreneurs

Recently I've spoken to a lot of small business owners, many owned and established by women and work at home mums or dads, and the common theme is a desire to execute their own ideas, to be Mistresses of their own destiny, but with an unwillingness to take the risk to bring their idea to fruition, an unwillingness to become a slave to the idea and having to work ridiculous hours to achieve some return. Many have just simply said "I just want to earn enough so I don't have to work for someone else and I can be there for my kids. I don't want to make millions".

This "type" of entrepreneur is interesting.

I can't seem to find him or her defined in the books or the typical articles on entrepreneurs. If they are described it is as a freelancer or business owner rather than an entrepreneur as succinctly described by Valerie Khoo in a recent The Age blog. And they are described in such a way that it implies that they are somehow 'lacking' and need to be 'transformed' and move up to the next level of entrepreneur.

Indeed NSW based Louise Woodbury author of The Invisible Entrepreneur has even divided the entrepreneur into four parts:
The technical entrepreneur - someone who creates a business due to their skills
. The manager entrepreneur - the manager of the business
. The ideas entrepreneur - our stereotypical notion of the entrepreneur with ideas, energy and vision
. The investor entrepreneur - someone sourcing the business to keep the wheels of the venture turning.

Risk taking and entrepreneurs

The fact is no entrepreneur knows if their venture will succeed. There are too many variables at work to crystal ball this question. Your product or service could be fantastic, your research could be impeccable but during the course of getting the product or service to market the economic and social environment may change so much that it significantly alters the factors influencing the success of your business venture.

So back to the question, if you dream of becoming an entrepreneur can you do it without taking a risk?

The answer I believe is No.

No entrepreneur knows if their venture will succeed. And the fact you don't know if it will succeed means you are taking a risk putting your time, energy and money [even if this money is time you could spend doing 'paid'work] into a business idea that may sink.

If you are not prepared to take any risk whatsoever, then maybe you need to realise that being an entrepreneur maybe just not your thing. Remember ideas are easy to find, its the execution of the ideas that is the important thing.

And secondly if you want to bring to life your business idea but are not prepared to take a huge risk [and by this I mean sink your house into your business idea] does this mean that you are excluded from the definition of 'entrepreneur'?

Once again I think the answer is no.

There are lots of different types of entrepreneurs and not everyone is the high risk taking throw-all -and-sundry-into-my-business-idea type. Some people want to take baby steps in growing their business and know exactly what they have to spend before making growing their business further. Most importantly, some people just want to earn a decent living doing something that they like and that they can control without they need to have a cast of a thousand employees or build a publicly listed company.

I like to call these the Quality of Life Entrepreneurs.

So to all those would be entrepreneurs out there, what kind are you?

Over to you :-)


[Note: Despite the talk that Australia is in recession and many established businesses are reporting they will be cutting staff the Business Enterprise Centre (BEC) in Sydney's eastern suburbs, says the centre has been busier than ever with requests for information on starting up a business. (Our next Wave of Entrepreneurs, The Age , 22 April 2009).]

Australia 9th best place for entrepreneurs
The Call of Entrepreneurs
Donald Trump: Thoughts on entrepreneurs
Five biggest mistakes that entrepreneurs make
Why the second five years can be

Shared expectations: Nannies caring for sick children in the home

While waiting in the emergency department of my local hospital this morning with my daughter [who we thought had a suspected case of Swine Flu but thankfully it appears to be nothing more than a bad viral infection but of course we need to wait and see...] I happened across the following article in the paper - Swine Flu forces workers to take unpaid leave.

The article desribed how the flu is closing schools and childcare centres across Australia, and how working parents are forced to take time off to stay home with their children. The Federal Government has responded by warning employers to prepare for a 30 to 50 per cent staff absentee rate at the peak of a flu pandemic.

The Government has also suggested that businesses consider helping key staff by "establish[ing] childcare arrangements for children of essential workers in their own homes with pre-screening of carers and children". They have also suggested that companies need to "establish leave and remuneration policies" for staff who cannot- or who do not want to - come to work.

Locate emergency nannies on Babysitterdirectory

Last week Babysitterdirectory.com.au launched a facility where babysitters and nannies can indicate on their profiles their interest in emergency or short notice (>48hrs) and casual positions.

By all accounts it seems to be popular with many of our newly registering nanny and babysitter members ticking the box saying they are interested in hearing from parents about these type of positions.

But there are some questions that parents need to consider when talking about the issue of caring for sick children.

Shared expectations are important

One of the advantages of parents having a nanny as opposed to sending their child to childcare is the expectation that when the child is sick the nanny can care for the child in the home while both parents continue to go to work.

However what is important here is that this expectation is shared by both parents and the nanny.

What this means is that parents need to speak to their nanny about this issue before their child is sick. Everyone needs to be clear about what will happen on the days when the child or children are sick.

It maybe that your nanny may say that they are not comfortable caring for your child when s/he is sick or that they would rather not care for a child who is sick in case they also get sick. In these circumstances parents need to talk calmly through with their nanny possible solutions and compromises for both parties.

It maybe that the nanny would feel comfortable caring for the mildly sick child but not the child with a roaring temperature who is absolutely miserable.

Parents and nannies also need to agree on what the care arrangements look like for the days the child is sick. Will the nanny be expected to care for the child all day or just part of the day? Will the parents just attend essential meetings or go to work for the entire day?

Sometimes a child might be so sick that all they want is their Mum or Dad. It doesn't matter that they know Kate the Nanny and adore her, when children are ill they often just want care and attention from the people they love most and feel safest with - Mum and Dad.

Be realistic

Also parents need to consider the Nanny.

Leaving a Nanny to care for a sick child - especially a baby or young child - for eight hours or more with a temperature of 39C who is crying continually all day for their mum or dad is both stressful and unfair to the Nanny. Particularly as s/he may not get any respite and/or may have to care for other children at the same time.

As such parents might want to consider:

1. Come to an agreement with your nanny on how to deal with days when your child is sick before your child become sick.

2.Consider not going to work for the whole day but possibly just attending the essential meetings or part of the meeting you need to attend and then return home.

2. Juggle the care between Mum and Dad. For example Mum goes to work early and leaves early bringing work home to finish. Dad works at home in the morning and then goes to the office when mum comes home. Meanwhile the Nanny is available to take care of the child while Mum or Dad work from home but are nearby to give cuddles as and when needed. This way your child gets the support and care they need, while working parents get to do the work they need to do.

3. If both parents need to attend work all day consider asking a trusted neighbour, friend or family member who is available to come in and take over from the Nanny for a short while so the Nanny can at least have a break during the day.

4. Share with your employer before your child gets sick what your plan and expectation is for dealing with illness in your family. Many employers are now open to allowing you to work from home. But if you do not have a nanny think carefully if you can work and manage a sick child at the same time.

Need an emergency nanny - be prepared

For parents who do not normally use nannies but instead use daycare for their child(ren) consider thinking about what you will do if your child gets sick. Once again having a plan is important.

If you think you may not be able to take time off from work to care for your child or think you may need to work at least for part of the day, you may want to consider contacting and interviewing some emergency nannies. That way if a time comes in the near future that you need an emergency nanny you actually have an emergency nanny , who you have met and screened, to contact.

You might also want to chat with your employer about the possibility of them subsidizing the expense of emergency childcare. Sometimes en employer will help pay for the care so as to keep a key employee from missing an important meeting.

A question of balance

Using a nanny or emergency nanny to care for our children when they are sick is without doubt essential for many working parents and companies. But balance and perspective about what is important is also needed both individually and as a society on this issue.

We should not lose sight of the fact that one of the strongest memories many of us have as children is how we were looked after at home when we were sick. Having mum or dad care for us, perhaps bringing us up some hot chicken soup to drink or letting us lie on the couch with a blanket over us watching a favourite movie with some ice cream, are memories that live long after the sniffles, runny nose and aching joints have gone.

Over to you :-)


More information

Workers forced to stay home because of swine flu 'should be paid
Catholic swine flu sufferers told to stay home
We're world's worst for pig flu
Swine Flu
Swine flu quarantine is just not necessary

Nannies and Babysitters response to the Global Financial Crisis::

It's a curious thing the GFC (Global Financial Crisis).

People intellectually know what the GFC is and know that it's not so great for the economy and employment but somehow it can still feel all rather aloof and unreal. Rather like hearing that "the S&P/ASX 200 is down more than 25 per cent from its March low". It sounds onimous but when you don't have any shares invested in a listed company you can end up feeling like "well that doesn't affect me so move on please".

And only this morning the Sydney Morning Herald reported that official unemployment figures for May are expected to rise to a five-year high of 5.7 per cent from the 5.4 per cent in April. And the average forecast is for the loss of 30,000 jobs for the month.

At Babysitterdirectory.com.au we are anticipating that the above financial outlook will lead to changes in the interaction between babysitters/nannies and parents on the site.

For parents seeking a babysitter or nanny it can mean that there will be an increased likelihood of being able to establish contact with a suitable babysitter or nanny.

For babysitters or nannies it can mean that the competitive bar is being raised and that your profile will continue to be compared against more nannies and babysitters. This increased attention means that more effort needs to be given to ensuring that you profile stands out increasing your likelihood of a parent establishing contact with you asking for more information about you and your availability. Of course it goes without saying that highly qualified and skilled babysitters and nannies who take the time to articulate their skills and experiences, are always in demand, but things to consider to increase your chances of a parent contacting you are:

• Use the free text section “Brief statement about yourself” on the Babysitterdirectory Babysitter Registration Form to maximal effect. Do not write one sentence saying "I love children" or "I want to care for your kids as my children have left home". This tells parents absolutely nothing about you and also comes across as lazy. It makes parents think you just cannot be bothered ( you're not bothering to sell yourself) so therefore why should they bother contacting you to care for their children?
• Remember everything on your profile and resume– qualifications etc – needs to be able to be substantiated if need be.
• If you get to the stage of being contacted by a parent to arrange a meeting / interview ensure the message on your answer machine is appropriate for the parent to hear.
• If you do decide to share your personal contact details with a prospective parent do not have an email address that does not show you in the best light for example "sexymary@hotmail.com". Its both unprofessional and not appropriate and can turn parents off from further contact with you. (Mind you parents should also take note on this point).
• Do not say on your profile that you are interested in babysitting or nanny so you can raise money to go overseas or complete your studies. Parents of course know you have a life outside caring for their children but they want to hear that you love kids, love challenging and playing and caring for them.
  
• If you are not interested in a position or are not available always reply to a parent letting them know. You never know when they next need a babysitter or nanny they may just consider contacting you.
  

For more tips on writing a winning profile visit Babysitterdirectory.com.au.

Discuss this issue on Babysitterdirectory Forum here.

[Image courtesy Sydney Morning Herald, 9 June 2009 ]