The Manny Diaries - profile of a male childcare worker

On Babysitterdirectory, like the childcare industry at large, we don't see a lot of Mannies or men in the role of caring for children. So it was with interest we received a profile last week from a young man.

James has kindly agreed to share a little with us about what inspires him and how he personally views this demanding but extremely rewarding profession.

James, tell us a little bit about yourself?

I am a 20 year old university student, part time Mannie/babysitter and aspiring athlete trying to qualify for the London Olympics in the sport of sailing. I am really active and love my busy lifestyle.

In Australia men aren't normally found in the childcare industry. Can you tell us what attracts you to looking after children?

The first thing is that I love kids! Their energy, imagination, creativity and belief in themselves and their dreams often astounds me and helps me in my own endeavors, especially my sport - their dreams and goals haven't yet been tainted by the realities of setbacks and restrictions, which is pretty refreshing to an athlete who has constant setbacks and restrictions!

Secondly, the job itself is very satisfying and rewarding as you can develop really close bonds with the kids and feel like a part of their lives. I've always wanted a job where I feel like I have made a difference, even if it is as simple as being a good role model for a child.

Do you ever come up against parents being wary or discouraged about hiring a male childcare worker?

To be honest, most of the work I have done so far has been through people who already know me as a person, so they had a fair idea of how well suited I would be to their children and I don't think my gender really affected their decision. I would assume that many parents would be more wary of a male childcare worker if they didn't know them beforehand just based on how uncommon it is for males to be interested in this line of work, but I am happy to break the stereotype.

There is a perception out there that Mannie's bring a different dynamic to a household and that single parents usually women choose Mannie's for the male influence they may potentially offer their children. Would you agree with this?

Males definitely bring a different dynamic to a household and I think it could be potentially harmful to a child's developing psyche to not have any male figure in their lives, so I guess I do agree that a male influence is important. But then again, I know plenty of people who have grown up in single parent households and turned out just fine!

Describe your ideal job?

I don't really have an ideal job - every job has its merits. For example, I have worked for more challenging families and families where the kids are always an absolute pleasure to look after, yet I don't necessarily enjoy the latter of the two more. I guess it is always my hope that the kids like me though!

What do you feel are some of the key challenges nannies and babysitters face and how do you deal with some of the challenges you face in babysitting/nannying?

I guess the key challenges are learning how to deal with each child you work with in the most effective way and realizing that every child is unique. It can be pretty frustrating at times. I also feel pressure to always be a good role model and lead by example. This is something that I think is very important, especially when you have a close bond with the kids and they look up to you.

What key advice would you give to a parent looking to recruit a babysitter or Nanny / Manny?

Spend time to find someone who your kids are going to respond to and make sure they aren't just in it for the money!

Who or what inspires you?
My best friend suffers from Cerebral Palsy and is also a top athlete - he won 3 Gold Medals at the 2008 Paralympic Games in his division, also breaking the world records in all 3 events!

Thanks James and good luck with the Olympics and Sailing!

James has his First Aid Certificate, Life Saving Certificate, Special Needs Care Experience, Drivers License, Own Transport, Does not Smoke, is a Permanent Resident, has his Working with Children Check and can be contacted by entering '2110' in the postcode search box on Babysitterdirectory and locating his profile.

Sharing Childcare Arrangments With Other Parents

This morning I did the huge childcare shuffle as so many parents across Australia do each day.

My two year old to daycare, my four year old to a kinder friend's house and my six year old to a school friends house about 10 mins drive away.

As I was driving along, rushing from one venue to the next, waving each child off and making sure they had bags, sunscreen, hats my mind was thinking "it has begun for 2010". The great childcare 'symphony'.


With the new school year and kinder year approaching many parents across Australia will also be firing themselves up to step back into the big childcare / work / study / social calendar / after school juggle.

And for many parents- like myself this morning - depending on 'arrangements' with friends / other parents, can be a crucial factor in ensuring everything runs smoothly and everyone in the family gets where they are meant to each day.

Whether you have made an arrangement with a friend / other parent to drop your child (or theirs) at an after school activity every week or every second week; to pick your child up from school on the days you can't; to drop your child at kinder when you can't, some careful thought needs to be given to the whole arrangement.

Careful thought on the arrangement will ensure that all parties remain satisfied (and no one feels taken advantage of or decides to end the arrangement as it's all too hard) no child is left standing outside a school or kinder with no one picking them up (due to confusion on dates) and generally friendships are preserved!

Some pointers may be:

If the arrangement is a once off or happens a few times i.e you call a friend / other parent to pick your child up from school because you are unable to do so then do not forget this 'favor'.

You may not intentionally mean to forget the 'favor' but the other parent might remember (especially if you call on their help a few times) and then feel slighted and the next time you ask for her / his assistance they may refuse you and this could quicken sour a friendship. Something no body wants.

If I have a parent who has said they will pick my child up for a play date after school or kinder I tend to write it down in my Google Calendar (three or four weeks ahead) so that I don't forget. I also offer to return the favor when ever the parent needs and if they do not ask me to pick their child up within a few weeks then I will offer a play date.

When the arrangement turns from a one off / casual to a more ongoing arrangement then communication and a shared understanding is the key:

Shared understanding

1. Renumerate or repay favor: If a parent is picking your child up from school or kinder ongoing and you are unable to or are not required to pick their child up, then you may want to talk to this parent about paying them for their time or if they refuse financial renumeration, to ask them how they would like to be repaid.

Relying on goodwill alone can mean that goodwill can run out very quickly. By having a shared understanding of how you will 'repay' this parent then both of you will feel more comfortable about the arrangement and there is less likelihood of the arrangement breaking down as one party feels taking for granted.

2. Do not be late: Be absolutely clear how long the other parent is to care for your child. If you say you will pick your child up at 5:00pm then do so. Being late will potentially upset your child and your friend and if you continue to be late it may mean the other parent cancelling the arrangement.

3. Consider your child: The parent may have offered to bring your child back for a play date after school so that you can go to your meeting. Be aware that young children at school and kinder can get very tired (and grumpy!) and hungry especially towards the latter end of the day. Having your child whinging to the parent at 5:30pm while s/he is trying to cook dinner for their family "where is dinner? I'm hungry" is not a situation you want unless you have agreed in advance that your child is to stay for dinner.

Communication

1. Ensure everyone in the family knows who has to pick up (or be picked up) and when. Some families use a family journal. I prefer sharing an online calendar (Google Apps) with my husband as it means both of us knows what child is supposed to be where and when, we can both update any listings and it's always accessible to use even from our mobiles.

2. Communicate regularly with the parent caring for your child to ensure that everything is running smoothly. Having a quick chat or catch up with them every two weeks initially then every six weeks can be a good way to iron out any issues before they turn into bigger ones.

3. Ensure the parent has your up to date contact details - work numbers, mobile numbers, emergency contact details and allergy information, if relevant.

4. Always leave your mobile on (on silent) when your child is being cared for by someone else. Unless you work in an environment (hospital, in which case you might have a pager) where you need to have your mobile off there is really no excuse for someone not be able to contact you if an emergency happens to your child.

5. Communicate with your employer about your childcare arrangements. Ensure your employers knows that your child is in care and should the need arise (your friend is sick or has a sick child) you may need to leave early and collect your child from kinder / school etc. Speak to your employer about how you may potentially make up this lost time.

Do you have any handy hints or tips you use when juggling childcare arrangements with friends or other parents? Would love to hear your thoughts.

School readiness and starting school

Firstly, Happy New Year everyone! Yes, yes I know its almost the middle of January but this is my first blog for the New Year.

Looking at my calendar this morning can't believe that my second child starts school in just over a week and the list of provisions we need to purchase next week - including his uniform, shoes, bags etc - are frightening!


Last week I also had the opportunity to attend one of my Son's friends 5th birthday last week and as I was watching this vibrant little boy running around playing with his friends I got to thinking about the topic of school readiness - again - and the reasons that this boys parents have decided that he is not ready for school and needs to repeat another year of 4 year old kinder.

What I see as an outsider is a confident, articulate and intelligent little boy bursting to get out into the world. What his parents see is an emotionally immature, shy little boy needing an extra year before he starts in the school environment.

Reading some of the excellent resources on the Internet at the moment about this topic particularly the postings of PlanningWithKids website - School Starting Age – Our Personal Experience and School Starting Age – Our Personal Experience , it reminded me how complex and unrecognised this issue is in Australian Education.

All over Australia there are parents in some degree of angst about whether they are making the correct decision about the correct time to send their boy / girl to school or 4 year old kinder.

Parents often talk about making a decision based on what could happen in the high school years. Of not wanting their child to be the youngest in the class. Of hoping that if they delaying their child from starting school it will mean that their child is one of the oldest in the class and presumably this means there will be more of a likelihood their child will be a leader and not a follower.

I was 4 years 6months old when I started school. I did not go to kinder or childcare. It just didn't exist in Ireland then. This meant I was 17 years old when I finished school and moved out from home and started university. I don't recall ever during my entire school years feeling as if I was the follower of the group or that I was disadvantaged by being one of the youngest in the class. In fact I don't think that the kids in the class ever gave one thought about who was the youngest or eldest. It did not matter. It would seem when you are a child / teenager your place in a group is determined by personality and other factors (who you are dating etc) not just your age.

So as I write this post I'm aware that each New Year seems to bring a new crop of parents unsure of whether to start their child at 4 year old kinder or delay, whether to start them at school or delay.

For parents with a child with obvious development issues the decision can be an' easier' one with everyone (parents, preschool teachers etc) agreeing that delaying entry to school would be the best for the child. However, for parents who have simply a 'young' child (in Victoria meaning born in Jan, Feb, March of April) the issue becomes murkier (do we delay or send?) especially if the child is a boy where many academic (Kathy Walker) say delaying is best?

It would be good if this issue and the stress it can cause parents was truly recognised by the relevant educational departments and more coordinated support offered.

In my situation with simply children born in the early part of the year, I have always thought how great it would be the educational system in Australia offered a Pre-Prep program attached to the school for 3-4 days a week for young children born in Victoria in Jan / Feb / March / April. Failing that perhaps an opportunity to be easily able to transition your child back to a 4 year old kinder spot if a few months into Prep both you and the teacher realise an incorrect decision has been made and your child would do better with an extra year of kinder.

Have you any suggestions or experience about how parents needing to make this decision would be better assisted?

More information
Some of the previous posts written by this blog on this issue include -

Is my child ready for school - the big school readiness debate
Holding them back or delaying entry
Having your child repeat a year at school
Is five too young to start school

Image: Morguefile

In Water No One Can Hear a Child Scream

Last week I witnessed an awful event on Twitter that made me reflect how during this holiday season all of us with toddlers and children need to be constantly aware of where they are and what they are doing.

I won't go into much detail but the gist of it is last week a prominent US mum blogger and Tweeter (@military_mom) posted a tweet asking people to pray for her 2 year old who had fallen in the pool. Tragically the child died. A few hours later the mum posted a tweet along with a pic asking people to remember her son. The claws then came out from several people who accused this mum of neglecting her son (by tweeting) and some even said she was using her son for the promotion of her website (by tweeting his pic after his death).

Image courtesy: Morgue File

Leaving aside these awful attacks happening to a mum and her family in the throes of an awful tragedy which did nothing to assist her or her family deal with their loss or indeed add to the debate of how do we keep our children safe around water, the one thing that stood out to me during all this is how it is next to impossible for any parent to keep an eye on their children 24/7 and how sometimes tragic accidents can happen around water.

Nearly four years ago my family moved to the Gold Coast for a year. My eldest was three years old and my second was just 17 months old. We had a fantastic aqua marine blue 14m pool in the backyard fenced in and with a latched gate. But the reality, as anyone that has a pool knows, you can never entirely relax when your kids are in the back yard and you have a pool. It was a really humid morning and I was in the master bedroom. I could hear the kids walking down the side of the house outside talking and playing. I really don't know what happened but one minute I was happily changing the sheets on the bed, the next this awful cold feeling came over me. I can remember dropping what I was doing racing down the corridor, through the kitchen and lounge room. I stood and looked through the glass doors of the lounge room.

My 17 month old was bent down at the side of the pool reaching in for a toy he had obviously dropped in . My three year old was standing behind him. The gate was open.

How was the gate open? To this date we are not a 100% sure. The guy who did the pool had being around the day before to clean the pool and he swore he had latched the gate even though the latch on the gate was admittedly very stiff he said(we had the gate fixed the next day). However in hindsight it seems he probably did not correctly latch the gate and I didn't think to check the gate in the morning assuming that as no one had being in the pool for a few days then the gate was as we had left it - closed.

Three months after this above incident happened my family and I relocated back to Melbourne in a house without a pool.

The fact is drowning is a leading cause of death among children aged five years or less. And if there is anything this incident thought me about water it is this:

- Toddlers and children can fall into a pool in an instant
- When there is water around keep your child within arms reach at all times
- Children drown silently. They don't yell and scream and trash around. Most likely they will just fall to the bottom and stay there
- Don't rely on lifeguards to save your child in the sea. Lifeguards may not notice your child going under the water. It is your responsibility to supervise your child at all times near the water
- Don't think as your child or Toddler has done swimming lessons they are able to swim. It's one thing doing swimming lessons in a pool in your depth with an instructor and quite another thing going under a wave or falling in the deep end of the pool with no adults around
- Don't rely on older children to supervise younger siblings both in the pool and in the sea
- If you are hosting pool parties around Christmas and New Year be extra vigilant with children. Alcohol and pools do not mix. It can mean that adults let down their guard and supervision of children is not what is should be.

And with that I'll leave you all. Have a wonderful and peaceful Christmas and most of all have a safe and relaxed break. See you in 2010.

More information
www.kidsafe.com.au